Ah.. the absence! Coming back from it like trying to talk after a long period of silence. You don't know where to start, what to say. Words begin and then get stuck in the roof of your mouth and never quite make through with the sound. There is a anxiousness in the eyes while it tries to make sense of this awkward and sudden introversion...
If it is a social situation, usually the other person comes to help with a rather obvious question like "You were gone for long, weren't you?" or "How was that time?". Then with a rush, the breath and the words come out like a huge sigh of relief and your mind and eyes are doing the grateful dance for the person, who let you out of the difficult cage...
But, how does one do this transition online? Where we have none to bail us out? You go quiet, you have to come out of it all on your own. Particularly, when the silence is because you have had to talk a lot somewhere else.. focusing your creative energies in a project close to your heart is both exhilarating as well as draining.
Perhaps, I should just tell you what it is. It my magazine... NOURISHED. I just wrapped up the Spring/Summer issue and sent it to the printer. You are probably thinking "Well, you have been doing that every quarter for two years. What's the big deal now?". Well, for one, I feel a lot like this every three months, which, is why i go silent from time to time here. And, two, did you notice the second part of that sentence?
I sent it to the printer!!!! As in sold in actual book stores!
So, yes, it is particularly a big deal. It is being published. Like in hard copy. Like being sold in actual book stores!
And, I will tell you all about it.. What you can expect, where to find it and all that jazz .. in another post.
In this one, I just wanted to talk about where I am now... After everything. Post the creative decompression. Yes that is a thing!
Here is the interesting thing about perspective and empathy. They are interdependent and rather limited in reach to known experiences. That is you are able to relate to whatever another person is going through only if you are able to put yourself in their shoes and able to see life from the lens of their eyes. In any other situation, it is really hard to understand why the person feels, thinks or see the way you can't.
creativity is an all consuming, possessive mistress
Its the same with work. Most people who are not in the creative world, expect that the completion of creative projects only leads to exhilaration. They expect a creative person to be on a positive high. They assume that only people in 'regular' jobs feel drained and dispirited. Ah! If only it were true....
As a creator, finishing a project means a sudden decline in the adrenaline rush that kept sustained the dopamine and endorphins highs. That is a crash.
Many of you know that my creative journey began with this blog. Before that, I worked in corporate America dealing with the shit that came along with that world. Ironically, I loved what I was doing. Yet, it did not stop me from feeling exhausted on weekends and simply wanting to catch up on sleep!
When I traded that for this, I thought things would get tougher or easier... Actually, things just became different! :)
At my previous role, there were several late nights, early mornings and overworked days. But, having been on both sides I feel I give so much more to creative projects and therefore, need much more recovery time afterwards.
You'd think it is because it is personal versus fiduciary. But no. My primary job is still as a business strategist and when I am on those projects, I am very involved and use a lot of mental energy and have the adrenalin rush of putting things together to create that breakthrough insight to propel the company forward. But, rarely, do I feel this disconnected after the project is done. In fact, I usually craving another project right after!
It's almost as if, creativity is an all consuming and very possessive mistress who can only satiated by utter indulgence!
Anyway, that is my story of the last few weeks. Give me a few days of respite and I promise I'll come back with more and more for you... Also, the reveal all about the magazine...!
Loaded Hummus Salad
I sustained myself for four days on this same exact meal, whilst in the thick of editing and designing, and, never once got bored. In fact, I would look forward to this for lunch like a cat looking on a piece of fish on the table..
I did buy all the things from the shop, but that is not important. Whether you buy of make, put together this salad and be happy, very happy!
The recipe is per person and can simply be scaled up for more people. Also, it make a very fancy appetizer for 'gatherings'!
1/4 cup hummus
3 falafel, sliced in half (6 if they are small; I get ginormous ones by me!)
1/4 cup arugula
1 radish, sliced thin
few slivers of red onion
1 T pine nuts, toasted
1 T tahini
2 T water
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/4 tsp ground cumin
salt and pepper as needed
Mix the vinaigrette ingredients together and give it a real good shake to emulsify.
Warm up or toast the falafel pieces.
To arrange the salad, shmear the hummus at the bottom of the plate, thin in the center and thick on the edges.
Pile the arugula in the center, Sprinkle the radishes and red onion.
Arrange the falafel pieces around the plate.
Pour (not drizzle) the dressing on top all over the salad.
Finish with the lightly toasted pine nuts to finish.