Some months ago, I decided to take control of my life and change it.. I remember the day... I remember the circumstance.. It was not unusual or extraordinary... I was having my regular cup of coffee and ruminating and there was a spark. I made the decision.... and, have not turned back since.
Yet, I revisit it often... I think of the surprising lucidity that moment stood for... When every thing seemed to be un-broken...
I decided then to run my life the way I wanted to... quitting a job that was just not me... and changing just about everything else in my life... all at the same time...It seemed very courageous then.. everybody was aghast.... it seems just right now and something I should have done, perhaps long before it happened... time and place I suppose...
Nevertheless, the last year and half has been an incredible learning experience.. at so many levels... I know in that time, this blog has suffered.. Truth be told, I was demotivated.. I chose the pleasures of life to the at-the-time thankless tedium of keeping this blog going in the face of disappointment and unfulfilled ambitions..
But I look back at that time and now only see how incredibly lucky I was to skirt disaster.... To find light at the end of the tunnel.. to find strength inside and support outside and despite negative protests to do the right thing... for me... to be fair... to me.....
So I did.. I am taking a hiatus from the bustle of life. I chose to travel...But funnily, life had other plans... I went.. and came back :) that is another story..
In the last post, I spoke about London... a place I revisit, often... A place which is as different from New York as can be, yet where I feel quite comfortably at home as I am in my own house. Perhaps, it is that I know some of the most amazing warm and open people and was fortunate enough to spend a week with them...
So, here I am at the cusp of Summer and Fall, thinking back to Spring and my best laid plans. I don't know where this will take me but that is a journey, I am hoping to take without prejudice and preconceived notions...
To walk away requires comfort and acceptance of memories and a casual remembrance of the past without baggage.... is that possible? I don't know but I am going to try...
But sometimes, all you need is fresh bread and good homemade jam to believe.... :)
7 comments:
good luck with everything you do Asha... sometimes, its hard to keep up with a decision that's been made... just listening to your heart always helps...
You are very courageous! I wish you the best of lucks.
Lovely post and clicks...
Cheers,
Rosa
To say we're experiencing similar things would be an understatement. I quit my unfulfilling job (very good on paper, very BAD for my wellbeing) before flying back to the US to get married. That was May. Now it's September, I'm back in Australia, and looking for the next chapter. it's a challenge. People ask me daily what I'm doing. But I'll make it through, just like you will.
Warm wishes + solidarity to you.
Good luck with everything Asha. I have made few decisions that way and there are no regrets. Just listen to your heart. There will be hundreds of people around to review the choice we made. I just beleived in one thing and was proud that whatever the outcome be - good or bad, I was solely responsible and I like that control over my life. Stay strong!
I do hope you find what you are looking for Asha. I know it can be hard sometimes to do the things that feel right in our hearts. I chose to quit my job at the age of 44 and while that felt really scary, 6 years onwards I still feel incredibly happy that I did and that i had the courage to take that step no matter how scary it seemed at the time!
With your talent I am sure it will all be ok in the end!
Thanks everyone for your supportive words. I have been fortunate to be able to hold to my decision and I hope the Universe will do the rest of it to aid me :))
@Vijitha - How true your words are!! I am striving for the same.. Control in my life so I am solely responsible for all my decisions and they are independent of anyone else :)
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